Nobody in this world feels whole and entire. We all have certain character flaws that we need or desire but can't obtain on our own. When we fall in love, it is frequently with someone who appears to fill that emptiness, which I refer to as a void. Observe the people around you; anybody who is emotionally or romantically in love with someone falls for them because they feel complete with them; the emptiness is filled by their presence.
Someone who was reared in cruel and harsh conditions might be easily touched by someone who genuinely cares for them. A person who misses family or sibling affection might easily fall in love with a human who nourishes and caresses them.
If we dig deep into this perspective we all find our respective reasons to fall for someone. It’s a widely acknowledged fact that if you want to attract and seduce someone, try to understand what’s the opposite person is craving in their life and act like the person who can fill that void. which automatically creates a sense of neediness towards you. That’s how humans are wired inside.
It begins when you find the “one” with whom you shared every single thing of your life, you’ll get too closely attached to them, you feel complete with them.
They make you happy and fill that void that your inner self was craving. You create a bubble within yourself, and your mind goes numb in the sense you’ll lose your judging ability, you ignore all the warnings before the storm and then the day comes when you’ll no longer find the person who was keeping your void sealed by giving false security which in turn made you weaker when it is finally exposed.
You’re simply addicted to them, and like every addiction, you won’t be in control of your emotions.
You feel like you were betrayed. But the truth is, you feel betrayed because they weren’t acting the way you thought them to be. You’ll get depressed thinking about them, and cherish the happy memories you both share together.
Let’s not consider from whose side the problem was, it doesn’t hold much value. The more important thing is to accept that the person is no longer present in your life.
So, What’s next?
How to deal with it?
Think about it. First of all what landed you in such a vulnerable situation and why you can’t control your overwhelming emotions after someone close to you leaves you?. Isn’t that because of you? The pain, the emotional trauma you’re feeling isn’t that all because of you?.
It’s you who pushed yourself into this situation. I know it doesn’t happen consciously neither you hold any control over this. But isn’t that you, who build happiness on top of someone? Yeah, that’s true! You’re the one whose void must be filled.
When you try to fix yourself by the presence of someone, then be ready for the consequences you gonna face in their absence.
“ Never try to find your shortcomings in someone else, instead try to become complete by yourself”.
And remember that people can move in and out of our lives. So build your happiness on top of yourself and if someone wants to join, invite them in but always leave the door opened.
Nothing can inspire you more than your own bad stories because the problems my friend, are time-dependent and relative for everyone. It’s how you wish to change your life. It’s how you let go of things. Be happy and pamper yourself.
Like I said above try to find the completeness and fill the void by yourself. Sit and understand what are the things you lack, why you get tempted when you see those qualities in others. You can find everything inside you, if not, try to accept it and never expect those from others.
I know that understanding all this is easy than implementing it practically. I totally get to understand that life is not fair all the time and we tend to get into depression and try to fight it. While some successfully beat that phase, some fail due to various reasons. If you ever feel helpless, don’t feel shy to approach and take some help.
And this world has no shortage of people who can listen to you. We’re humans for god sake! You might think that you can save yourself, but you keep drowning without being aware.
Just live your life the way it always is, like nothing has changed.
And understand that You have a whole lifetime to live. This one person, that one moment is not going to change the course of your life. It’s not like you will never be happy without that one person. Trashing yourself is not the answer, cherishing yourself is.
“Bad news is you cannot make people like love, understand, validate, accept or be nice to you but Good news is it doesn’t matter” ~unknown