Marriage appears to be the most difficult thing one can start in today's environment. And it's all because we sought to ignore the marriage's underlying facts. In my latest work on this, I performed some research and discovered that, out of every person on the earth, 75 per cent are unaware of what they are going to experience in marriage, particularly young people.
Some of us see marriage as much the same as "dating," with the exception that "it is a lifetime experience."
This is the issue, and some are unwilling to investigate.
We've been observing how our parents handle their marriages, and this is exactly what we're going to confront without even delving into why it happens or what to do if it does.
On the other hand, it appears that no one wants to hear the painful truths of what they are about to enter since we are all dazzled by these wonderful marriages and perfect lifestyles floating about in our heads every day. The worst thing is the "social media marriage."
The beautiful pictures, the love shared between couples, the expensive vacations to exotic places, the gifts, the beautiful children, and various displays of public affection that paint a picture of perfect family life can make you want to rush into marriage with the next person without even considering the norms and pros of marriage.
But, come to think of it, have you ever wondered why some of those marriages fail? Why did those lovely moments go in the blink of an eye? Why are there so many divorces and broken marriages? Why are singles flocking in while couples flock out?
HIDDEN SECRETS IN MARRIAGE
1. Marriage does not provide unconditional love.
What exactly do I mean? We desire to love without restrictions, constraints, reservations, or qualifiers, just as Christ loves us.
Unfortunately, it hurts when we are not shown the same affection by our partner or when we are taken for granted. You must be prepared for your spouse to wake up one day and begin disliking you or acting strangely without your intervention.
And what are you going to do if this happens? In this instance, starting a heart-to-heart conversation should be the greatest way to figure out what you're doing wrong. Rather than behaving as though you are unconcerned, try to strike up a discussion.
Just remember that you won't be able to get your partner to adore you completely. You can work on them, but don't expect anything in return. Marriage should be founded on love and support, especially through difficult times, rather than leaving as the path becomes more difficult. It is a journey that will demand both of you to be patient and fully supportive.
2. Marriage is not a way out.
Some married couples have found themselves in this circumstance as a result of their incorrect notions about marriage.
It is not a place where you rush in to test because others have or because you want to be a part of the moving train. Peer pressure, parents, society, your financial obligations, family responsibilities, and loneliness should not dictate when and how you marry.
You must first make up your mind and understand that it is not a firm basis on which to stand permanently. Earthquakes will occur, but we will select how they will occur and what will be broken.
Yes! I know you want to get married because everyone else is, or you can't wait to find a wealthy partner to blame for all your family troubles. But that should not be the major point because we don't always get the complete bundle that comes with it (I mean your expectations might not be meet). It may not seem exactly as expected, making it more challenging to deal with.
Don't allow all of these blazing expectations be the reason you're sacrificing all of your pleasure for. It doesn't stop there; it travels so quickly that you won't be able to keep up. Take your time, understand what you're getting into, and be well prepared.
3.Feeling in Love Is Insufficient
There is more to being in love. When you ask someone why they are getting married, the first thing they will reply is "because we love each other." And perhaps, after two to three years, you will notice significant changes.
This occurs because, according to study, the average life span of love is two years. However, some may take longer while others may take less time.
That is why many married couples divorce, not because they no longer love each other, but because they disregarded the things that spark love.
They stopped at the first stage of love, which is the exhilaration that comes with the chill bumps, the acceptance, the joy of being together, the bursting emotions, the I-can't-live-without-you and love obsession.
Some individuals believe they were duped into marrying their partners. No! Nobody conned you into it, and you weren't blinded by love; you just ignored the most important thing, which is labour. Love necessitates labour in order to keep the emotions alive.
Love fades when emotions change, but it doesn't imply you don't love the individual. Just that, your initial feelings have shifted. And you must work on it to plug the potholes that are wreaking havoc on your marriage.
4.It Is More Than Just Appearance.
I know you want to marry Prince Charming or Princess Cinderella, but they are not the most important aspects of our relationship.
Yes, I didn't suggest you should go for something you don't like, but haven't you noticed that what we desire isn't always what we get? You may fall in love with a tall dark spouse with the perfect figure, and then you begin to fall in love with the polar opposite in another person. Maybe the small, fair-skinned individual has everything you need but lacks the outward look you desire.
Don't let it be your motivation for tying the knots. You can't afford to sell your happiness for something you'll come to regret.
Sometimes you see couples marrying because they believe they will have beautiful children or a pleasant household, but in the end, they are disappointed since their expectations are not satisfied.
There is more to attraction than what life has to offer. What will you do if those attractions diminish or your sense of attractiveness shifts?
There are more gorgeous women out there than your boyfriend. Will you go after them?
It may not be easy to deal with, but love, faith, and labour, especially work, will help. We may believe that love fades, but this relies on your concept of love. Love is greater than the worldly love that may be generated at any time. Allow God's love to motivate you.
5.Marriage takes effort and dedication.
If you want to have a healthy and lasting marriage, you must work hard to make it work for both of you. It is not a one-man job; it takes two individuals to keep it going.
God would not have bothered to make Eve as a helper if Adam could have done it perfectly. God knew he wasn't finished, so He gave him Eve as a helper to lighten his load, but now some individuals put pressure on others in the guise of being the head of the family. Making the other person into what they desire and forgetting that the relationship should be fair and free.
6.The main thing is communication.
Learn to communicate; express your feelings to her. Tell her if she's incorrect, and if she complains about yours, listen to her. It is better to speak it out loud than to keep it in your heart and wait for the proper time to let it out.
It might not come out correctly, breaking the serenity you've worked so hard to establish. When your spouse offends you, attempt to let them know or bring their attention to what they have done as calmly as possible. Do not erupt! Simply use your common sense and reach an amicable solution.
7.It is filled with compromises.
It might be difficult to compromise at times, but remember that this is the part that contributes to a better relationship.
If you are not ready to do anything, don't try to compel the other person to do it.
You set a good example, and your spouse will follow. Attempting to transform someone because you dislike something or someone. It is very inappropriate in a relationship and can lead to the dissolution of your marriage.
Just be aware when you are the one sacrificing or submitting. Compromise is not a sacrifice made for the benefit of others, but rather for the benefit of both.
Marriage is pretty straightforward; the only difference is that the pictures we've created differ from the primary painter's thinking.
We are two persons with distinct personalities, perceptions, lifestyles, backgrounds, and so on. And we're all trying to accommodate, compromise, and adapt to each other in order to make it work.
The fact is that if you are not willing to modify or make this work, you will not receive the best out of your marriage. No marriage is perfect, but we can still get to where we want to go. The hidden realities should not be overlooked, but rather welcomed as one of the finest things in our lives.
Our partners should be our friends and our family/relationship would be better than all these bad vibes we are getting in this present time.
I wish you well in your marriage.
Evelyn, A. C. (2022, June 23). The Hidden Truth About Marriage. Relationship Seeds. https://relationshipseeds.com/the-hidden-truth-about-marriage/