Updated: Aug 18
Having trouble getting in the mood or achieving orgasm? The solution might be as simple as knowing what you like in the bedroom. Here are 6 tips that can help women enjoy sexual intimacy.
Sex has benefits that extend beyond the bedroom. According to research, a good night's sleep can enhance your heart health and even strengthen your immune. Furthermore, regular romps with your spouse foster an intimate connection, which is essential for a good partnership.
But you're not alone if you're not constantly in the mood for sex. According to Ian Kerner, PhD, a psychotherapist and sex therapist in New York City, many women experience changing sex desires that may be related to broader difficulties.
"Sexual desire is a measure of your general health in certain respects," he argues. "When someone comes in with a low libido, it is frequently an indicator that something else is wrong emotionally or physically."
1. Recognize Your Likes and Dislikes in the Bedroom
According to Dr Kerner, the first step toward having fun in bed is to know what you want. "Knowing what feels good, what turns you on, what turns you off, the stimulation you need to proceed through the process of arousal, the postures you prefer, and a partner who can dance with you in that way and knows the dance," he says.
It's equally crucial to be able to express these wishes to your spouse, he says. "If you're hesitant to share, phrase your desires in the shape of a fantasy," recommends Kerner.
You may, for example, tell your partner that you had a fantasy about how you and your spouse used to make out like teens. "Use provocative, exciting language," he advises. "Doing so will help you find the type of sex you want." Masturbation may also assist women in learning what they want in bed and feeling more sexually confident.
Another study, published in 2018 in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, found that women who meditated scored higher on measures of sexual function and desire.
2. The ability to focus on the present moment while tuning out background noise
It's natural to become sidetracked in our high-stress lives, even when we'd like to focus on romance. However, it is especially crucial for women to concentrate on being in the present moment. "You want to be in a peaceful state when your brain completely deactivates so that you may feel full arousal and climax," Kerner adds.
The concept that blocking out the noise might help women enhance their sex life is supported by science. After an eight-session mindfulness training, women reported substantial increases in sexual desire, general sexual function, and a reduction in sex-related discomfort, according to research published in the Journal of Sexual Research in September 2017.
3. Confidence in one's sexuality and positive body image
If a woman does not feel comfortable about her physique, she may find it more difficult to enjoy sex. Body image, including weight concern, physical condition, sexual attractiveness, and thoughts about the body during sexual activity, was found to predict sexual pleasure in women in a research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
According to the findings, women who have low sexual satisfaction may benefit from therapies that address these specific components of body image.
4. Relationship Trust and Emotional Security
It's difficult to have a carefree adventure when you're separated from your significant other or concerned about your partner's fidelity. If you suspect your partner is having an affair, it is critical that you confront the situation.
Kerner recommends beginning the topic in a polite and respectful manner by stating something like, "I feel like we haven't been connecting recently, and you're usually on your phone or texting." It just makes me feel uneasy about the connection." Then explain that you respect your relationship and sex life and want them to be a priority.
5. Learn About Your Partner's Sexual Health
Nobody wants to be asked, "When was the last time you were tested for Sexually transmitted diseases?" Avoid a conversation about prior relationships or birth control, but don't be scared to inquire about your partner's sexual history.
Kerner recommends that you may even put a positive spin on the topic by stating something like, "I think you're extremely hot, and I'd like to be in a relationship with you. But, in order for me to truly enjoy myself, I'd like to discuss our sexual history and get on the same page regarding safety." If your spouse isn't willing to talk about it, he or she might not be the ideal person for you.
6. The Best Products to Make Sex More Convenient
While it is well accepted that women of a specific age are more prone to vaginal dryness, younger women might also suffer from it. To make things more pleasant, try using a lubricant; however, be careful which one you choose because there are significant variances between them.
Kerner, who suggests Sliquid, a natural, water-based lubricant, emphasises the necessity of foreplay in order to lubricate organically. "You might be aroused physically but not psychologically, or vice versa," he continues. "You may just need to give yourself more time to warm up."
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